Last week I hit a crisis point.
The parenting stage of figuring out the relationship needs of my kids while I’m simultaneously trying to figure out my own is a new frontier. Sometimes it feels like it’s too much when I think about how much of it is on my shoulders.
Acting as an amateur therapist for my kids.
Which brings me to my breakdown last week. I had one of those weeks where several things worked together to make me question my parenting and I mixed that insecurity up with a my own struggles and found myself in bed at 8:00 pm. I turned to Nathan and told him I was struggling because it seemed like the things I needed and the things our children needed were in direct opposition to each other.
What’s a good mom supposed to do? I think she starts with crying and going to bed early.
If she’s really lucky, she’s married to someone who isn’t nearly as tired and emotional.
That’s when Nathan used a tool that can be dangerous if timed poorly or handled carelessly- logic.
“Let’s get you taken care of first.”
The smart people refer to this as putting on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else with theirs. I don’t question the flight attendant. She knows I’m not useful in helping with the other masks when I’m passing out from my own lack of oxygen.
I have to tell you I was skeptical. But he seemed so confident that everything would work out if I got myself figured out first that I might be willing to try it.
Here’s what’s causing my doubt-
I want to ask God what he was thinking when he made me an introvert. I want to remind him that HSP’s can only take on so much before they shut down. Does he realize this? How can I parent my kids to meet their needs when their needs seem to be in direct conflict with my own?
Do I believe that the God who created me the way I am is able to meet my needs and my kids’ needs at the same time? Do I believe that’s too much for Him?
Those are some convicting questions. Of course, I know the right answer. I just haven’t been living like it.
Here’s the truth:
“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:19
“His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”- 2 Peter 1:3
If it’s necessary, he’ll make a way. What he promises, he provides in his way and his time.
The hard truth of parenting is sometimes our children need something that seems impossible to provide. The beautiful truth of parenting is the Holy Spirit provides what they need. The limitations God gives are beautiful indicators that point to God and give him glory.
If I’m operating out of a mode that says it all depends on me, it’s going to feel like too much because it is too much.
When it feels too heavy, that’s God’s gracious invitation to unstrap the backpack and drop it.
Let the one who calls you, carry it.