Our move to Tennessee was precipitated by a series of life events that made us long for a fresh start. Death, a difficult pregnancy, a feeling of isolation, and job stress. Mixed together, it made us restless. I didn’t worry much about leaving our present circumstance behind. In fact, I looked forward to it. I was more afraid of the status quo than I was of completely turning our lives upside down and starting over.
Your story may be different. You might have left the perfect neighborhood and job. Your church and your town were idyllic, and maybe you showed up in your new hometown with a great feeling of loss.
The Truth About Moving Is That It Always Comes With Some Sort Of Loss
In our situation, we faced some of those losses before we even moved. We had already started grieving for things that had died or were dying before we even packed a box. I thought, because we had buried some of those issues already, moving wouldn’t be so traumatic. I was wrong. It was a different kind of trauma though.
All the stressful things kept me from seeing clearly all the blessings we had in the place we were leaving:
friends
babysitters
family nearby
familiar routines
being known
Going Through A Time Of Grieving Is Normal
In talking to a lot of women who have moved, the ones who have most easily transitioned were the ones who took the time to mourn what they left behind. The key was that they didn’t stay stuck in a cycle of perpetual mourning. They viewed the sad times as an indicator of some wonderful things they left behind, and were willing to believe and put effort into creating a life they could love in their new home. They knew that grief was not a sign that they made a mistake in moving.
If You’re Tempted To Run Home
If you’ve moved and you’re sad and miserable, can I just tell you something? It’s so normal to be sad. I know it’s not easy to start over. It takes time to build a life in a new place. If you decide you want a meaningful life in your new home, you can have one. I’m confident of this. It just takes time. That’s the easy and hard answer all in one. Don’t expect to have the same relationship with your new life that you’ve only known a few months or years that you had with the life you knew so well for decades.
I promise it will get better. It won’t look like you expect, but it will be good.
How about you?
What was your experience with loss? What helped?
What did you learn? Leave a comment. I know your experience will be helpful to others too!
This post is a part of the Write 31 Days blog link-up. To find more amazing authors, check it out!
Truth! I love what you said – the grief doesn’t mean the move was a mistake. Also, your new life will look different. I think we try to recreate our previous life. We are slowly learning to build a totally new life in our new state.