Will You Still Be My Friend If. . .

I had the best conversation today. It started with the usual small-talk. Safe topics. But there is nothing about me that’s a small-talk kind of person. I had something I wanted to say, but I was afraid. Finally, 5 minutes into the conversation, I blurted out, “Will you still be my friend if I . . . . .?” {I’m intentionally not filling in that blank because the specifics don’t matter}


Once it was out there, I couldn’t take it back.

There was no hesitation at all in her response. Yes, she would still be my friend.

It’s a scary thing to grow up. To grow up in how you see things. To honestly assess your life and say, “that was good” or “those overalls were an unfortunate life choice” or “I’m not sure I agree with that person, but I still love them.” It’s easier to do with good friends by your side.

Not long ago, I wrote about the kinds of friends you should keep and I left one off the list. You need one more. You need a friend who gives you space to change. That’s not easy to come by and that’s what inspired my question to my friend, Lisa.

Will you still be my friend if I vote for a different political party?

Will you still be my friend if I lose/gain 30 pounds?

Will you still be my friend if I stop being a stay at home mom and I get a job outside the home?

Will you still be my friend if I go back to school?

Will you still be my friend if . . . .?

In all of these questions, there’s a hidden, unspoken one. We want to know if we have a friendship built on more than this one thing in common that might change.

Today, I’m grateful for friends and family that cheer me on in my race even if we are running different ones.

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