Our family moved from MN to TN almost two years ago. I figured it might be time to find a doctor. At the recommendation of a friend, I chose a doctor and made an appointment. It was an uneventful appointment for the most part.
And then she asked me if I had any concerns about being sad, depressed or anxious and I started crying. For the first time in my life, I was brave enough to admit that, yes, I had sometimes had thoughts of hurting myself. Thankfully, no plans to actually do so. I’ve somehow found myself in a dark, sad, depressed and hopeless place.
I’m afraid in sharing it here that some will question, judge or be skeptical of my experience. I truly feel like my brain is broke in some way. The time has come to actually admit that I am not able to will myself into a more sunny outlook. My fear of the stigma of having to take something to feel normal or people thinking I’m crazy is not as big as the need for my kids and husband to have a mom/wife who is fully available.
Here’s to a better 2014.